The Human Snooze Button
The Human Snooze Button is a member of the League of Underwhelming Heroes with the unique ability to delay any event by exactly nine minutes. First discovering their powers during the Great Morning Rush of 2019, they have since become an instrumental figure in the field of minor temporal manipulation and strategic procrastination.
Powers and Abilities
The hero's primary ability, known as Temporal Snoozing, allows them to postpone any event within a 50-foot radius by precisely nine minutes. This power comes with several limitations:
- Can only be used three times per event
- Cannot be applied to the same event consecutively
- The delay creates a mild drowsiness effect in the target area
- Power effectiveness decreases by 33% after noon
Notable Operations
The Late Lunch Incident
Working alongside The Procrastinator, they successfully delayed a series of uncomfortable workplace lunch meetings at Adequate Accounting Services, leading to a 12% increase in employee satisfaction.
Operation Morning Mercy
Collaborated with Captain Placeholder during the Early Bird Crisis of 2021, helping hundreds of people get nine extra minutes of sleep through a combination of temporal manipulation and sticky note reminders.
Personal Life
In their civilian identity, they work as a professional meeting coordinator, strategically using their powers to ensure all gatherings start slightly behind schedule. They maintain a collection of vintage alarm clocks in their apartment in Mediocrity Falls and are a regular at The Lukewarm Café.
Equipment
Their signature gear includes: * The Snooze Suit - A costume designed to look like classic pajamas * The Delay Device - A wrist-mounted timer that tracks postponement periods * The Drowse Detector - Monitors ambient tiredness levels in target areas
Impact on Society
The Human Snooze Button's influence has led to the development of the Nine Minute Philosophy, a movement dedicated to the art of perfectly-timed minor delays. Their work has been studied by the Institute of Temporal Inconvenience.
See Also
References
- "Nine More Minutes: The Science of Superhuman Snoozing"
- "Delay Tactics: A Hero's Guide to Professional Postponement"
- "The Art of the Nine-Minute Nap"