The Daily Cubicle Chronicle
A detailed analysis of overlapping coffee stains reveals potential territorial marking behavior among office workers
Today's Featured Article
The Spaghetti Sauce Incident sent shockwaves through the office when an unmarked container of marinara sauce mysteriously appeared in the communal refrigerator last Tuesday. The sauce, described by witnesses as "menacingly red," sparked a week-long investigation involving the Office Ritual Documentation Guidelines committee. The incident reached its climax when Dave from IT accidentally knocked over the container, creating what observers called "a crime scene of carbohydrates."
In The News
- New evidence emerges in the ongoing Mysterious Stapler Migration investigation
- The Office Ritual Documentation Guidelines committee announces mandatory training sessions
- Revolutionary "clean desk" policy faces backlash after Passive Aggressive Communication Festival protest
- The Complete Guide to IT Department Sightings receives controversial update
Did You Know...
- ...that the Birthday Card Protocol was amended six times in the past month?
- ...that the average office worker spends 47 minutes per week searching for their missing lunch container?
- ...that the Bathroom Air Freshener Conspiracy has spawned three separate internal investigations?
On This Day
- Two years ago: The first documented case of the Passive-Aggressive Post-it Note Collection began
- Last month: Margaret from Accounting set a new record for longest time spent organizing paper clips
- Yesterday: Karen's Tuna Sandwich made its first appearance of the week
Today's Featured List
Top 10 Break Room Infractions, now updated to include the controversial "banana ripeness monitoring" subsection.
In Focus
The newly formed Committee for Proper Coffee Pod Disposal has initiated a comprehensive study of abandoned K-cups, leading to speculation about a potential Birthday Card Circulation Incident-level crisis developing in the break room.