Dave from IT
Dave from IT is a legendary figure in corporate mythology, known for his ethereal ability to appear only when technology is functioning correctly and his mysterious tendency to vanish during critical system failures. His official title at Megacorp Industries is Senior Technical Support Specialist, though few employees have ever successfully submitted his actual job description to Human Resources.
Background
The exact date of Dave's hiring remains unknown, with various conflicting records suggesting he has been employed anywhere between 3 and 47 years. Some employees believe he exists simultaneously across multiple IT departments, a phenomenon known as Quantum Tech Support.
Notable Abilities
Dave is renowned for his seemingly supernatural powers, including: - The ability to fix printers by merely walking past them - Instantly knowing when someone has tried turning it off and on again without actually doing it - Materializing behind users exactly 2.5 seconds after they enter an incorrect password three times
The Missing Weeks
During the infamous Birthday Card Circulation Incident, Dave's absence led to the development of the IT Presence Theory, which suggests that he exists in a state of perpetual meetings that no one actually scheduled. The incident resulted in the implementation of the Digital Signature Protocol, requiring all IT staff to prove their corporeal existence at least once per quarter.
Workplace Impact
Dave's influence on corporate culture is substantial, having inadvertently created several office protocols including: - The Five-Minute Password Reset Rule - Schrödinger's Ticket System, where support tickets simultaneously exist in both "in progress" and "not yet viewed" states - The Universal Coffee Protocol, stating that all IT issues become urgent only after Dave has gotten his morning coffee
Cultural Legacy
The phrase "Have you tried turning it off and on again?" is widely attributed to Dave, though historical records suggest he has never actually been heard saying it. His preferred communication method of leaving sticky notes with cryptic technical instructions has spawned an entire field of study in Corporate Communication Theory.