Mediocre Man
Mediocre Man is the founding member and current leader of the League of Underwhelming Heroes, known for his remarkably average abilities and his power to make beverages slightly less warm than desired. Born Stanley Middleton in Mediocrity Falls, he discovered his powers during a particularly uneventful coffee break at his job as a middle-management accountant.
Powers and Abilities
Mediocre Man's primary superpower is the ability to decrease the temperature of any beverage by approximately 8-12 degrees Fahrenheit, rendering hot drinks tepid and cold drinks slightly less refreshing. This power, while not particularly impressive, has proven occasionally useful in situations involving overly hot tea or coffee.
Secondary abilities include: - Maintaining conversation at a perfectly average volume - Finding adequate parking spots within 5-7 minutes - Predicting weather with 51% accuracy - Opening jars on the third attempt
Career Highlights
After founding the League of Underwhelming Heroes in 2015, Mediocre Man gained modest recognition for his role in the "Great Coffee Cooling Crisis" of 2016, where he successfully prevented seventeen people from burning their tongues at a local diner. He later collaborated with The Human Thermostat on the "Perfectly Room Temperature Initiative", which aimed to make public spaces slightly less uncomfortable.
Personal Life
Mediocre Man maintains a secret identity as Stanley Middleton, continuing his work in middle management at Adequate Accounting Services. He lives in a reasonably-sized apartment with his pet goldfish, Gerald, who demonstrates an equally unremarkable lifespan. His relationship with The Procrastinator ended amicably after both parties agreed to "maybe stay friends or whatever."
Notable Achievements
- Runner-up in the Annual Superhero Participation Award (2017-2020)
- Successfully organized the League of Underwhelming Heroes monthly potluck with minimal food poisoning incidents
- Featured in "Somewhat Interesting People Magazine" (Issue #147)
- Received a "Meets Expectations" evaluation from the Superhero Standards Committee
See Also
- The Average Avenger
- Mostly Memorable Moments in Superhero History
- Bureau of Barely Notable Achievements
References
- "The Mild Adventures of Mediocre Man" - Adequate Publishing House
- "A Study in Superhero Mediocrity" - Institute of Unremarkable Research
- "Why Being Average is Perfectly Fine" - Journal of Superhero Studies