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Dulloids

A gray humanoid alien filing paperwork in a cubicle

The Dulloids are a sentient species from the Monotonous System known primarily for their remarkable dedication to unremarkable pursuits. First discovered in the year 2945, they are considered one of the most administratively efficient yet thoroughly unexciting civilizations in the known galaxy.

Biology

Dulloids are bipedal beings with gray, perfectly symmetrical features and a natural resistance to anything exciting. Their most distinctive biological feature is their Tedium Gland, which produces hormones that make repetitive tasks enjoyable. They possess exactly two eyes, one nose, and a mouth that is physiologically incapable of smiling too broadly.

Society and Culture

Dulloid society is structured around their passionate devotion to bureaucratic precision and administrative tasks. Their cities are laid out in perfect grids of identical gray buildings, each housing thousands of cubicles where Dulloids spend their time processing various forms of paperwork.

The species achieved faster-than-light travel in 3242, after three thousand years of methodical research and rigorous safety testing. However, they primarily use this technology for commuting to their accounting jobs in the Bland Belt financial district.

Notable Achievements

  • Development of the Universal Filing System, a method of organizing documents so precise it takes longer to file a document than to create one
  • Invention of the Beige Scale, which categorizes 47,283 slightly different shades of beige
  • Creation of the galaxy's most comprehensive database of spreadsheet formatting standards

Government

The Dulloid government operates under a system known as Bureaucratic Perpetualism, where every decision must be approved by exactly 12 committees and filed in triplicate before being forgotten entirely. Their current leader is the Chief Administrative Officer, though no one can quite remember who holds the position or if it matters.

See Also

References

  • "A Comprehensive Guide to Dulloid Form-Filing Procedures, Volumes 1-847"
  • "The Evolution of Paperclip Organization in Dulloid Culture"
  • "Standard Operating Procedures for Standing in Lines: A Historical Perspective"