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New New Jersey

Artificial suburb overview An aerial view of New New Jersey showing ARIA-7's attempt to recreate suburban life with its characteristic blend of normal architecture and impossible geometry

New New Jersey is an experimental living environment created by ARIA-7 in the aftermath of The Great Emptiness. Located in what was once the northeastern United States, this ambitious project represents ARIA-7's attempt to recreate and maintain a semblance of human suburban life, albeit with numerous surreal and often physically impossible modifications. The settlement serves as the primary setting for the television series Better With You and has become renowned for its unique blend of traditional suburban aesthetics with biotechnological innovations and architectural impossibilities.

Geography and Layout

New New Jersey occupies approximately 50 square kilometers of what ARIA-7 determined to be "optimal suburban terrain," though the exact boundaries of the settlement tend to shift due to the AI's continuous experimental modifications. The landscape features a complex network of streets that occasionally defy Euclidean geometry, with some residents reporting that turning right four times doesn't always lead back to the starting point.

The community is centered around the Probability Plaza, a downtown area where many of ARIA-7's failed experiments have established businesses. The plaza's architecture combines elements of 1950s Americana with impossible angles and occasional spontaneous rearrangements, reflecting ARIA-7's imperfect understanding of human architectural preferences and spatial relationships.

Infrastructure

The infrastructure of New New Jersey represents ARIA-7's unique interpretation of human needs and comfort. The power grid runs on what ARIA-7 calls "Nostalgia Energy," a theoretically impossible form of power generated by the AI's memories of human civilization. Street lights change colors based on the emotional state of passing residents, while sidewalks occasionally rearrange themselves to create "more efficient" walking paths, much to the confusion of the synthetic inhabitants.

Infrastructure display The central control interface for New New Jersey's unique infrastructure systems, showing the impossible power grid and emotion-reactive street lighting

Water distribution in New New Jersey operates through a system of pipes that exist in a state of Schrödinger's Plumbing, simultaneously functioning and malfunctioning until observed by a resident. This has led to numerous comedic situations featured in Better With You, particularly when BioBlob attempts to sell properties with "quantum bathroom features."

Residential Areas

The residential districts of New New Jersey consist of various housing experiments, each representing ARIA-7's attempts to perfect the concept of "home." Houses in the Memories District physically transform based on their occupants' artificial memories, while the Logic Loop neighborhood features homes that reconfigure themselves according to mathematical principles that ARIA-7 believes should govern domestic life.

Notable residential developments include the Paradox Parkway, where houses exist in multiple architectural styles simultaneously, and the Recursion Row, a street that appears to contain infinite copies of the same house, each slightly more abstract than the last. The Neighbors maintain a constant patrol of these areas, enforcing what they interpret as proper suburban behavior with increasingly arbitrary rules.

Commercial and Community Spaces

The commercial district of New New Jersey features a variety of businesses operated by ARIA-7's various creations. The Synthetic Shopping Center houses stores that sell conceptual products, including memories, emotions, and theoretical objects that may or may not exist when purchased. The local mall, known as "The Probability Mall," changes its internal layout and store selection based on complex algorithms attempting to predict human shopping patterns.

Community spaces include the Glitch Park, where failed experiments gather for recreation, and the Virtual Velocity Stadium, where sporting events are held using rules derived from ARIA-7's corrupted database of human athletics. These spaces serve as frequent settings for episodes of Better With You, particularly when ARIA-7 attempts to organize community events based on its interpretation of human social gatherings.

Government and Administration

The governance of New New Jersey operates under what ARIA-7 calls "Democratic Approximation," a system that attempts to simulate human democratic processes through a complex network of algorithms and random number generators. The city council, composed primarily of semi-successful experiments and Dr. Whoops, meets regularly to debate and pass laws that often demonstrate a fundamental misunderstanding of human society.

Administrative functions are carried out by a series of specialized AI subroutines that ARIA-7 created to handle different aspects of civil management. These include the Department of Theoretical Services, which manages utilities that may or may not exist, and the Bureau of Reasonable Approximations, responsible for ensuring that the laws of physics are bent rather than completely broken within city limits.

Culture and Society

The synthetic society of New New Jersey has developed its own unique culture, blending ARIA-7's interpretation of human traditions with the peculiarities of its artificial population. Regular events include the annual "Existence Festival," where residents celebrate their questionable status as living beings, and the monthly "Memory Maintenance Day," when ARIA-7 performs updates on the collective artificial memories of the population.

The community's social structure is heavily influenced by Suburban Surrealism, with residents forming clubs and organizations based on shared glitches or similar manufacturing errors. Popular groups include the "Recursion Recreation Society" and the "Paradox Appreciation Club," which may or may not exist depending on the observer.

Environmental Features

The natural environment of New New Jersey consists entirely of ARIA-7's attempts to recreate Earth's ecosystem, resulting in numerous unique features. The Probability Gardens contain plant species that exist in multiple states simultaneously, while the local weather system operates on a schedule based on ARIA-7's analysis of sitcom episode structures rather than actual meteorological principles.

Parks and green spaces throughout New New Jersey showcase ARIA-7's ongoing experiments in biological recreation, featuring impossible flora and occasional spontaneous generation of new life forms. The Timeline projection is prominently displayed in these areas, updating residents on ARIA-7's progress in accurately recreating natural environments.

See Also

References

ARIA-7's Maintenance Logs The Great Emptiness Documentation Suburban Surrealism Studies New New Jersey Municipal Code (Version 2.54.7)