Order Of The Disappointing Dragon
The Order of the Disappointing Dragon was a short-lived medieval knightly order known for its consistently underwhelming attempts at dragon-related heroics. Founded in 1482 by Sir Butterfingers the Bumbling, the order gained notoriety for recruiting the most hesitant and timid knights in all the Mediocre Kingdoms.
History
The order began when their patron dragon, Sparkless the Mild, was discovered to have an intense fear of matches, candles, and anything remotely flame-adjacent. This revelation came during their first official ceremony when the dragon fled from the ceremonial torch-lighting, knocking over the Grand Table of Questionable Valor in the process.
Notable Members
- Sir Dampwick the Damp - Known for carrying buckets of water to extinguish any potentially threatening flames
- Lady Tremblemail the Tentative - Famous for developing the "tactical retreat position" still used by cowardly knights today
- Duke Wilting of Wimpshire - Inventor of the Dragonproof Parasol, which proved ineffective against both dragons and rain
Training Practices
The Order maintained a unique training regimen at their headquarters in Castle Lukewarm. Knights were required to master such skills as:
- Dramatic apologizing
- Advanced excuse-making
- Perfecting the art of the Strategic Swoon
- Identifying the least threatening dragons in any given situation
Dissolution
The order officially disbanded in 1487 after their mascot dragon was frightened by a Traveling Match Salesman. This incident, known as the "Great Embarrassment," led to the immediate resignation of most members and the conversion of their castle into a School for Underachieving Wizards.
Legacy
Despite their short existence, the Order of the Disappointing Dragon left a lasting impact on medieval culture. Their motto, "Discretion Before Valor," became popular among those seeking to avoid unnecessary acts of bravery. Their techniques for avoiding conflict are still studied at the Academy of Tactical Hesitation.